Japaneses chica seeking male for how to love a person who loves you
I can't remember where I had heard this old adage before or just how far back the saying goes, but it always seems to resonate no matter your view on it, even going so far as to say it might be an interesting thought to contemplate as we trudge through our romantic lives: You should be with someone who loves you more than you love them. It seems simple enough — sure we've all had that one person in our lives that's always been there and who definitely loves us more than we love them and would quite literally do anything to be with us. But they're usually the nice guy or girl that we overlook because we don't feel that spark or we're not overly attracted to them, or simply don't consider them our soulmate.
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You love me you say. You love the idea of me. Maybe you like how I look or how I make you feel. People are largely mistaken on what true love really is. Love is pain. Imagine someone knowing all about you.
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Even the small things. Imagine messing up, and even letting that person down. They forgive you. They love you. They even notice the small things, like that scar above your eye. The way your eyes dart around the room when your nervous. They love your heart. Your compassion. They know you. Your flaws make you unique. And give them the space and permission to be just as human. A few who I actually believe understood me and got me enough to fully appreciate me.
His answer? That was the end for me. That is not love. He was infatuated. Gee, thanks. My stupid jokes. My ability to nurture my child?
The way my eyes light up when I feel super happy? I am sure there are many men and women who only care about status, how their partner looks and what they can do for them. Self-serving love is not love. Its a tripod of passion, intimacy, how to love a person who loves you commitment.
You have to have all three for it to be lasting love. Infatuation is so strong that people often mistake it for love.
2. they look at you a lot
Nothing turns me off more than selfishness. My dad is a psychopath and he was hopelessly selfish.
He would show my brother and I love in the form of gifts. New car. New TV. A vacation. He was hopelessly selfish. He would often behave as. Now when I see this trait in a man, I want to vomit.
It disgusts me. But not everyone is my father, and I know that.
This is just something that personally triggers me. I want a loving, giving, sweet, and confident man.
Hopefully they still exist. I know no one is perfect, but some people are more selfish than others.
I would hope to find someone who tips the scale in the right direction. This goes two ways I know. We are all selfish on a certain level. But a good person will try and give of their time, their money, their efforts, and energy to the people they care about.
They will do their best. When someone loves you, they love all of you.
1. they have fun with you even if the task at hand is not fun, per se
They see where you are weak, and they understand. They may not like it, but they are patient with you. They trust you. They trust in the better side of you and believe in who you are. When they are upset with you, they talk to you about it in a calm way.
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They care more about the relationship than they do about being right. It just comes naturally. You make a choice. Let you down in a big way perhaps. You choose to be kind. You choose to be sweet to them.
You may kiss them on the forehead and tell them good morning. Have breakfast with me. You put yourself aside.
You give despite your hurt feelings. It touches them, and then they will most likely feel like shit for being a brat to you and apologize and you both can go about your day loving each other. Selflessness is a precursor to love.
You surprise them with little gifts that are unique to them or the two of you. They call it codependent how to love a person who loves you one person is doing all the giving. There are so many relationships like that. So that person you are dating or in a relationship with. Ask yourself.
Do they really know you? Would they have to scratch their head if someone asked them why they love you? My brother fell for his now wife quickly, but I know other couples who it took them months, and others who broke up a few times and finally settled into love. They could be afraid to be confronted with your inherit value and the responsibility of caring for your heart. Some people also self-sabotage things out of fear.
Think of it this way. Can you be mad at a pig for trampling on the pearls you tossed before him? Why is he stomping on them and getting them all muddy you ask? They are living for the moment- for a feeling. When you do the work of loving someone, the sacrifice of giving of yourself, the good feelings naturally follow.
If you reap the work, you will sow the reward. Love is sacrifice. It is sometimes that feeling right away, but not always. Feelings come and go. Real love stays.
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An action. A choice. A sacrifice of yourself. Wait for someone who gets you first, and then decide whether or not you feel the same. Unrequited love is painful. Wait to love someone who loves you back.